People with herpes should wear stickers.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
