Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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