i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
