I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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