guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
