its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
