walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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