I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
