Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
