last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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