Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
