I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
