remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize