I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
