You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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