I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
