How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
