if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
