So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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