haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
