Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
