I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize