Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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