i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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