i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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