Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
