why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
