well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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