She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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