halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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