When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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