I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
