is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
