Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize