The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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