does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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