census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
