I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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