I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
