I just saw a hot homeless man
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Life is so much better after having sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
