She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They took my balls.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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