out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
