ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize