Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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