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• (914): View more from New York

  i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It's inspiring.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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• (585): View more from New York

  Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?

  (806): View more from Texas

  LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...

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