with your own penis?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
