I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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