I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
