no, he came in my armpit
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
