I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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