Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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