I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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