And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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