I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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