How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
