ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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