And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize