im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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