I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
