just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
