the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
