he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Are we still banned from the library?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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