Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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