I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize